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    July 22

    真正难忘的旅行,都是自己掏钱的旅行

    之所以得出这样的结论,是因为再一次看到维港夜景时,发现自己回忆的,仍然是第一次。中间的那很多次,似乎都没有发生过一样。
    第一次的时候,我是闭着眼睛走到码头的,到码头才被允许睁开眼睛。满目纵横的香槟泡沫般的灯火铺出视野,然后就坐在那里抽完一支烟,那支烟还是S去跟旁边的人要来的。细节还这么清楚,也挺好笑的。我甚至记得我们离开时说的笑话。夸张地说,甚至可以数出那晚到现在,一共过了多少天。
    后来一切过去。后来似乎竟然不满和恼怒了。后来天各一方,他不像他,我不像我,言不及义,他很啰嗦我很冷漠。后来只一句good luck,总算长吁一口气。
    可是再看见灯火,想起来是有过好时候的。而且好的不像话。
    那个叫不叫爱呢,不知道,但毫无疑问叫浪漫。浪漫成为了我现在最惧怕的东西,甚至都不愿意想起自己也浪漫过。维港夜景用巨大的电力提醒我。
    还没有一样东西,从小爱吃,终于不爱吃了。想到这些会略略不安,不安的时候我出去走走,找个地方坐下来。看看书,没有太大用处,小不安还在。随手翻起杂志,“陀飞轮”三字跃入眼帘,奇迹般地,我的小不安消失了,我又是我了。我又可以不去想我惧怕的东西,假装那个东西根本没有存在过。
     

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